Showing posts with label Experience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Experience. Show all posts

Monday, May 2, 2011

Basic principle of happiness

Ever heard of this book called the Art of Happiness by his Holiness The Dalai Lama?

Chances are you have either read or heard of this book. I remembered there was a time when I was facing a difficult time in my life and this book has helped me immensely to recover from those dark times.

Recently came across an article by His Holiness which I think is a concise summary of the book. Hope anyone who is facing difficulty and unhappiness in life finds this useful. Go read the Art of Happiness, I strongly recommend it. It is a simple and easy to understand concept and not difficult to put it to practice. I read the Art of Happiness more than 10 years ago and the message is still clear in my mind. Coming across this article is a timely reminder to me that I should be spreading the message across others to assist them to face challenges in their daily life.

Whoever you are, I wish you as a human being to another fellow human being may you find the path and strength to achieve happiness in life.Enjoy the article.


Countering Stress and Depression

At a fundamental level, as human beings, we are all the same; each one of us aspires to happiness and each one of us does not wish to suffer. This is why, whenever I have the opportunity, I try to draw people's attention to what as members of the human family we have in common and the deeply interconnected nature of our existence and welfare.

Today, there is increasing recognition, as well as a growing body of scientific evidence, that confirms the close connection between our own states of mind and our happiness. On the one hand, many of us live in societies that are very developed materially, yet among us are many people who are not very happy. Just underneath the beautiful surface of affluence there is a kind of mental unrest, leading to frustration, unnecessary quarrels, reliance on drugs or alcohol, and in the worst case, suicide. There is no guarantee that wealth alone can give you the joy or fulfilment that you seek. The same can be said of your friends too. When you are in an intense state of anger or hatred, even a very close friend appears to you as somehow frosty, or cold, distant, and annoying.

However, as human beings we are gifted with this wonderful human intelligence. Besides that, all human beings have the capacity to be very determined and to direct that strong sense of determination in whatever direction they like. So long as we remember that we have this marvellous gift of human intelligence and a capacity to develop determination and use it in positive ways, we will preserve our underlying mental health. Realizing we have this great human potential gives us a fundamental strength. This recognition can act as a mechanism that enables us to deal with any difficulty, no matter what situation we are facing, without losing hope or sinking into feelings of low self-esteem.

I write this as someone who lost his freedom at the age of 16, then lost his country at the age of 24. Consequently, I have lived in exile for more than 50 years during which we Tibetans have dedicated ourselves to keeping the Tibetan identity alive and preserving our culture and values. On most days the news from Tibet is heartbreaking, and yet none of these challenges gives grounds for giving up. One of the approaches that I personally find useful is to cultivate the thought: If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it. In other words, if there is a solution or a way out of the difficulty, you do not need to be overwhelmed by it. The appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more sensible to spend your energy focussing on the solution rather than worrying about the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you cannot do anything about it anyway. In that case, the sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be for you. This formula, of course, implies directly confronting the problem and taking a realistic view. Otherwise you will be unable to find out whether or not there is a resolution to the problem

Taking a realistic view and cultivating a proper motivation can also shield you against feelings of fear and anxiety. If you develop a pure and sincere motivation, if you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion, and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work, in any field, and function more effectively with less fear or worry, not being afraid of what others think or whether you ultimately will be successful in reaching your goal. Even if you fail to achieve your goal, you can feel good about having made the effort. But with a bad motivation, people can praise you or you can achieve goals, but you still will not be happy.

Again, we may sometimes feel that our whole lives are unsatisfactory, we feel on the point of being overwhelmed by the difficulties that confront us. This happens to us all in varying degrees from time to time. When this occurs, it is vital that we make every effort to find a way of lifting our spirits. We can do this by recollecting our good fortune. We may, for example, be loved by someone; we may have certain talents; we may have received a good education; we may have our basic needs provided for - food to eat, clothes to wear, somewhere to live - we may have performed certain altruistic deeds in the past. We must take into consideration even the slightest positive aspect of our lives. For if we fail to find some way of uplifting ourselves, there is every danger of sinking further into our sense of powerlessness. This can lead us to believe that we have no capacity for doing good whatsoever. Thus we create the conditions of despair itself.

As a Buddhist monk I have learned that what principally upsets our inner peace is what we call disturbing emotions.  All those thoughts, emotions, and mental events which reflect a negative or uncompassionate state of mind inevitably undermine our experience of inner peace. All our negative thoughts and emotions - such as hatred, anger, pride, lust, greed, envy, and so on - are considered to be sources of difficulty, to be disturbing. Negative thoughts and emotions are what obstruct our most basic aspiration - to be happy and to avoid suffering. When we act under their influence, we become oblivious to the impact our actions have on others: they are thus the cause of our destructive behaviour both toward others and to ourselves. Murder, scandal, and deceit all have their origin in disturbing emotions.

This inevitably gives rise to the question - can we train the mind? There are many methods by which to do this. Among these, in the Buddhist tradition, is a special instruction called mind training, which focuses on cultivating concern for others and turning adversity to advantage. It is this pattern of thought, transforming problems into happiness that has enabled the Tibetan people to maintain their dignity and spirit in the face of great difficulties. Indeed I have found this advice of great practical benefit in my own life.

A great Tibetan teacher of mind training once remarked that one of the mind’s most marvellous qualities is that it can be transformed. I have no doubt that those who attempt to transform their minds, overcome their disturbing emotions and achieve a sense of inner peace, will, over a period of time, notice a change in their mental attitudes and responses to people and events. Their minds will become more disciplined and positive. And I am sure they will find their own sense of happiness grow as they contribute to the greater happiness of others. I offer my prayers that everyone who makes this their goal will be blessed with success.


The Dalai Lama

December 31, 2010
Originally published in the Hindustan Times, India, on January 3rd, 2011

Saturday, January 1, 2011

New year, old friends

As I sat in a restaurant in a mall near my home I am contemplating what would be the first post of the year would be about. Then I thought about my friend's request the day before to write about how we celebrated the last day of 2010 and ushered in the new year. To be forthright, as a matter of fact our celebrations yesterday was nothing exceptional to say the least. In fact looking at it you might call it downright mundane for a new year's celebrations - dinner, no countdown, few minutes of fireworks (which we don't even know there is one until it happened) and of course poker session till late at night.

Not even close to the top of list.

As we ushered in the new years it brought in many changes as well. Our celebrations soon consists of new faces - new friends, partners, spouses and children. 2011 would be no exception, already we are expecting a new bundle of joy for our group due in February and I myself would be soon getting married a few months later.

One of the great things why we celebrate the arrival of new year is it marks a time of our life where we can leave unwanted pasts from the previous year and renew our hopes for better things to come. It is a milestone for some, one year older, another year we have been married or another year that we have been friends. It is also a time for a kindly reminder that some things probably would never change. It's still the eccentric behaviour of one of us ( we are starting to lose hope that he might ever change ), he is still late for appointments, and I am still pissed with him for being not punctual, and one of us is still occasionally moody.

Although the years might roll by and certain changes and additions might come along, there are however a few that remain unchanged. Good friends remain, some people that you can depend for company and when you most need it, someone that you can rely on. Like familiar saying goes, it's not where you go but the company that you keep that makes it count Here's to 2011 and many more mundane new years to come, so long that it is celebrated with dear friends.

To old friends and to new beginnings.

I have been commissioned to write this, so when we say commissioned it means that I should be getting paid to write this. JJ please take note!



Sunday, December 12, 2010

Serendipity? You better believe it

My company trip at a resort in Ayer Keroh has just concluded and I am writing this as we are on the way home.  First of all this is the first time in my life that I have partake in a company event at this size although I have been given many opportunity by many ex employers which I am most grateful for. So not expecting much I packed my bags on Saturday and head toward the historical city of Malacca with the rest of the staffs from the company. Unbeknown to me there's a most serendipitous chain of event that is waiting for me. Now mind you when I said serendipitous I did not mean that I have suddenly struck a ten million dollar lottery but it's still a most fortunate event. Let me tell you why.

Upon reaching the resort I discovered that my roomie that I am supposed to share a room with is down with fever and was absent for the event. After putting my bag in my designated room I went for lunch and event activity. Upon returning back to my room I discovered that my room has another new occupant and my luggage gone. Feeling quite displeased with the sudden turn of events I stormed of to the front desk to find my bag and with the intention of making a complain. After a few firm words I was upgraded to a much bigger room - feeling quite pleased at this point I decided that I have no use for such a big room for myself and instead offered to switch room with another colleague which had brought her husband and baby along. During the lucky draw at dinner I did not win anything which according to the event organisers there are enough of prizes for more than half of the participants on the night. Well number 181 didn't yield any price for me.  Feeling quite unlucky that I wasn't the lucky other half given the possibility of actually winning something is more than 0.5 I joked to those who cared to listen that I am going to win the iPad which was one of the grand price for second lucky draw on the following day ( I didn't have that much conviction when I said it). On the following day however I got another set of number 281 which again to me is such a coincidence to me, 181 being my birthday. Just plain coincidence?

When number 281 was announced with the prize of guess what - an iPad, my hair was standing on my back a sudden exhilaration of actually winning something that I really want. Serendipity? You be well believe that good things does come to us in our lives.

I always believe that our lives are intermittently peppered with highs and lows and this last to days I believe is a testimonial to that - albeit on a much smaller timeframe in two days. But guess what I have always feel lucky with my life - sure it's not so outstanding and I have been I some pretty low times. But I have grown to love what life has managed to offered to me. Good times I felt immediately pleased with but with bad times I have grown to learn from them after a recess. My motto is and has always been the mantra - everything happens for a reason. It is up for us to appreciate it and learn from it. Embrace the challenges and be thankful for the gifts. At the mean time - thank you God for giving me this iPad!



Saturday, August 7, 2010

Miracle Meow

The doc wasn't too sure that he would live. Lying there on the cold steel of the doctor's table, his breathing was labored, his life was merely hanging on a thin wisp of thread. It was pitiful to see something so weak, ravaged by bites of a hundred army ants we felt hopeless more than hopeful, a sense of defeat looming over our minds like the specter of Death which was hanging over him. "Will he survive?" was always the first question that was ready to roll from the tip of my tongue the moment we entered the doctor's room. The doctor shook his head. "It's very difficult to say." came the reply. Usually the odds are against it.

But someone in the room knows better, the spirit who's body was on the metal table refuses to say no. No! I refuse to die here today! (meow, meow...) A faint meow came from the feline, tiny as it seems but a fighter spirit encased within the tiny body. It raises it head when we called out to him seeming to remind us to not just give up on him yet, that cats have nine lives and he has a few more to live on.

We decided to leave him at the hospital for the night. To see if it survives the night. I'll call him Miracle if he lives, said I to my sister. More of a cruel pun at that moment.

He's still alive! Came the call from my sis. Ok great, but the kitten was still very weak and I'm not convinced that it could live for another day, refusing to give myself false hope. Another day went by and then another. When I paid the hospital a visit the doctor was smiling this time. Yes, you can bring him home today. Kitty is doing well indeed and is eating well. A sense of relief. I knew all along the kitten wants to live says my sis. I guess she is right then. Miracle Meow, we hope that you will have a blessed life, all eight of them. God bless.


Monday, June 21, 2010

Smiling Shau Kei Wan



It's funny when you loathe some place or some situation that you are facing but when sometimes it's time to leave it you suddenly feel sad that you a finally getting out of it. Shau Kei Wan! I have to say what a place, crampy apartments, endless stream of old folks hobbling around in walking sticks, you have the same food everyday over and over again for both lunch and dinner - it does sound depressing. I did shed a few tears (literally) when I finally have to leave, but not tears of ecstasy because that I am leaving this place, but tears of sadness and longing for something I knew that I had it good all along. One thing I realized today is that it's not the place that matters, but what is filled in that place - friends, family and best of all the experiences that you share with them. I cried because I know my departure marks the end of a blessed period in Hong Kong with my friends - my only consolation is this a beginning of a new phase in my life. Will it be together with the rest of the team? I wouldn't know, my only salvation from separating from them is the thought that I have enjoyed my time with them as much I could. If  I have not treated them that well at times, it is without ill intention.





























To all of the team, this post is for you - Simon, Angel Lee, SHIT, ST, Darren, Murph, Joel, Jerome and to my love Oh, it has been an honor. So I will see you guys next time, for some of you most probably back in Malaysia.

I hope you guys enjoy my jokes, thinks that my cooking is palatable and appreciate that I have tried to take care of the team the best that I can. You guys have been great and I hope that life treats you well, where ever you are. It's time for me to soldier on, looking forward to spend my life with my dearest Oh where ever our fate will bring us to.

Till then, this is Jon signing out from Hong Kong.